Crisis of Willpower

Working Out

Working Out (Photo credit: Tyne & Wear Archives & Museums)


Hello All!


So for those of you that have been keeping track, I’m sure that you can see that I haven’t posted in a while.  I wish I could say that I have been super busy (which I have), or that I have been making a lot of headway in other ventures (kinda-sorta… but not really), but the truth of the matter is that the whole systematic willpower thing is breaking down.


Since moving into my new house, all the routines are different, and I haven’t found my stride on how to do it here.  In addition to that, I have been trying to add more things to the list, and I simply haven’t found time to put it all in.  That… and like every best-laid-plan-that-isn’t-as-easy-as-it-sounded-at-the-beginning, I have gotten discouraged that I haven’t been as successful as I wanted.


I thought I might just start with the “sermon” posts as if I had been away on Sabbatical, and now came back with some profound insight.  The truth of the matter is that I had so many threads going that, when dropped, I’m not sure where to pick up again.


So… Major Crash #1 is now on the books.  If I actually had a broad readership, I would have let you down!  With me not being consistent in my posts….even in the failures… there is no way to encourage each-other  or keep the dialog going long enough to get back on track.


In any event! I’m sorry.  What I can say is that I need to get back on a track that gets me writing several times a week again.  Looks like its time to put myself on a project plan (more on this to come)


Lets do a sum of where I am on all the activities I have started, and where I am now:


1.  Diet:  Since the 11/25/12 lifestyle change I have still stayed on my diet ! Ho-ray! I have lost about 46 lbs.  If you check out my weight section, you can see that the progress is slow going… and I’m struggling with several plateaus, but progress is still there.


2.  No TV, No Video Games: My New-Year’s Resolution for 2013 was to no longer watch TV or Play Video games.  I wanted reclaim my time, and do something that was more valuable with my life.  Status: Success!  So far I haven’t done either.  This has given me a lot of time to do all of the other things on my list.  I find this fantastic, and will continue.  The only threat I have found here is online TV or fad news online.  It’s really easy to get sucked in to watching 20-40 mins of some inane and mind numbing mini-story.   After a couple of these… you might as well just sit down and watch the show, and accept that you are wasting time on nothing.   Gotta nip that one in the bud.


3.  Waking Up Early  I had been waking up at 5:30 Am with the intent of having my devotional Bible reading, journal, and maybe even work out.  The first two happened for a while… but then I moved and work changed.  We have added a meeting at 8AM most mornings at the office, and so I have to leave a lot early.  I still get up at 5:45-ish…. but now it’s because I have to go to work instead of reading.  I have taken to reading the Bible in bed with my wife before I go to sleep.  I am not very consistent with it yet, and I’m not sure how much quality I am getting from it.  I’m working on a solution for this one.


4. Blogging:  Without reading the Bible and talking to God, I’m not making time to listen to Him, I really don’t have as much to write about.  Now, that is a really easy cop-out…. I know.  I started this whole project in response God’s call, and saying that I can’t do it because I don’t have time for God.  I wonder what my Heavenly Father thinks about that… I’m sure not a lot  :(  Also, just the act of writing things down gives me the ability to hear what He might say.  So in a way… I’m hurting myself in two ways.


5. Bible Study:  This is different from devotional reading.  This is a chance to really get into the Bible and see what God has to say.  I have been doing a program through Koinonia Institute that involves classes on the Bible.  It is really good, and I just finished Spiritual Disciplines a couple of weeks ago (I got a B).  I like it a lot, but there are three problems I am running in to.


A.  The Classes End!:  When the class ends, there is usually a bit of a lag before the next one picks up.  This means that there are times that my wife and I are not studying.  This makes it easier to drop off and find “other” things to do.


B.  Lots of Writing:.  This is excellent, but cuts into my other night-time activities.  There is only so much that I can do in a day.  I know I’m trying to do way to much at a time…


C.  God isn’t the Lecturer:  When spending time to pray and study the Bible in His presence, the Holy Spirit really does teach you himself!  It’s amazing and very humbling.  If I only have time to do one or the other, I should be spending the time with Him.


My current thought on this is that until I have built up the discipline to study on my own daily, then following the “program” with KI is a much better option.  It keeps me in the Word, and gives me deadlines I need to follow.  It is something that my wife and I take part in, and allows us to talk about the lessons… Its good… just really time-consuming.


6. Work Out: To help out with my plateaus, I want to work out.  I was really excited about it…at least on paper.  I ordered one of those workout at home dvd series… and was really looking forward to putting my progress on this site.  That urge vanished after only 2 workouts.  I end up motionless on the floor while the rest of the workout plays without me… Maybe I bit off more than I can chew on that one.  I still need to see what I can and cannot do on this one.


7. Volunteer at Church: This one I have been doing a lot of lately.  I have been singing in the Choir, doing lots of solos, and project manage some logistic stuff for the chancel choir.  I have been spending a lot of time on this one, but I’m not sure how much traction I’m having.


8. Record Music:  Haven’t started due to conflicting nightly schedule.


9.  Dancing with Wife: Same.




Well, I’m glad to see that my overly wordy rants are still in tact after all this time.  So, what do you all think? I am going to be trying prioritize all the above and come up with an action plan for success, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.  Please leave a comment and let me know how you would solve this.  Thanks!




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